Leotards

What the ach(long 'a' sound) is the deal with leotards and spandex? About 2 years ago we would have all talked about how tacky and ridiculous the fashions of the '70's were. Now the biggest stars are rockin' leotards and spandex pants with big, fat belts like they are something to be rocked. Everytime I see someone in spandex pants and clunky Nike Kicks I get embarrased for them. On American Idol the other night, as soon as girl number 1 walked out in those pants, i thought, "effin a. What was she thinkin'? She is goin' home." And she did. It was a sight. Over the past 6 months we have seen this not, so cool attire on the likes of Katy Perry, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Pamela Anderson, and Kanye's new girl toy. I mean, do men really dig that shiz? There is nothing cute about it!!! Sorry about your bad luck!!!

Pray for the Sinners

Quinton learned the Lord's prayer over the last school year. So.......... last night during prayer time, Quinton said, "Thank you for the sinners." I said, "Quinton, sinners are people who do not follow God's word. We would say, "please help the sinners to make better choices," but we would not say, "thank you for the sinners," because we do not want there to be sinners." So he sat there for a minute and said, "ooooohhhhhh!!! I thought it meant the American Airlines Centers (sinners)" So cute!!!

February - Dentist Month

So this month I decided to get responsible. I went to the dentist and paid for myself. IMPRESSIVE, huh? yep. I decided that 29 (ha) was a good age to take responsibility for my teeth, so I did it. My mom didn't even help me pay for it. I had to buy a $200 toothbrush, though. Ouch! That mo' fo' better make me look like a million bucks!!!!

January - Hookah Month

So my BFF, Rancie, came up with this great New Year's Resolution. Every month we would do something that we have never tried in our lives. January was Hookah month.
One Saturday night, Rancie, Krystal (KK), and some guy we used to know were hangin' out at my house. Rancie told KK that we wanted to smoke out of a Hookan. KK, the world traveler, said that she had one from Rome, or Italy, or Paris..........somewhere in Europe...... that much I know for sure. Anyway, we jumped in the car and made our way to 3R's cigars to buy some tobaccy. We ended up with Passion Fruit Mojito........even if the smoking was a bad experience, at least it would taste ok, right? Then we headed over to Krystal's to get the Hookah and then back to my place. The guy, the one we don't know anymore, got us all lit up and we smoked like champions. It was very interesting. The smoke was clean, not harsh, smooth, and fruity. Fun times!

The Dentist

I just went to the dentist to get some gum work done. They doped my gums, cheek, nose, and tongue up with numbing agent right before lunch time. So of course, I'm hungry. So when I got back to work the only thing I found that I could eat was a slim-fast shake. I carefully turned my face sideways so I could drink on the un-numb side.....yep..........didn't work. now have chocolate all down my white, button down shirt. NICE!!!!

I feel a breeze

So, it's me. Your friend of dramatic stories and embarrasing moments, and I've got a new one for ya. Here goes.
So, I have this new puppy, Harlo. He loves him some me............so much, that he chews up everything that smells like me. And what does he like the most? My panties. he often enjoys an afternoon snack which entails $20/pair "crotch of panties a la Roxanne." He has good tast, pun intended. It has become very frustrating. So frustrating that I had to buy more panties............which he chewed, as well. Most of the panties end up looking like a mini-skirt. He doesn't just chew the panties and leave a hole. He EATS the panties............like, material is injested and can often be seen when it comes out the other end.
So this morning I got up, took a shower, ironed my nice, black, pen-striped pants, got dressed, and went to work. Everything went smoothly, so I was early to work. (I don't have to get there until 8am, and I arrived at 7:56..........early. :)) So I decided to use my 4 minutes to sit on the couch in my classroom, relax, and get ready for the day after a late night out. As I sat there, on my big, comfy, blue sofa, I felt a breeze. Not the kind of breeze that blows through your hair on a nice, Spring afternoon, but the kind you do not want to feel before a classroom full of teenagers pours into your classroom. It was between my legs. So I looked down, and all I saw were my hot pink panties. No. They didn't have a hole in them........it was in the black pen-striped pants that were crotchless. There was a hole the size of a cantaloupe in the crotch of my $75 pair of pants......and I was at work in them. Why didn't I notice this morning when I ironed? Not sure. I'm guessing that the 10 beverages from last night had a lot to do with it. So now, I am walking around like a geisha......baby steps.......so the hole can't be seen. I might start a fire from squeezing my legs together so tightly when I walk.......and if you touch me, you might get shocked from the friction of scooting around my classroom. None-the-less, I got a sub, and will be leaving the school in 15 minutes.........and that dog is in big trouble...... Moral of the story.....I'm not sure there is one...........maybe it is to check your crotch before you leave home. Who knows how many people checked mine out this morning before I realized what was going on.

What's going on?

So........Quinton is 6, and I, ......well, we'll just say that I'm 29. I am kept busy with work, school, hip-hop, and, of course, Quinton. He is kept busy with school, soccer, Sunday School, and his momma. ..........and I will say that he ADORES his momma!!! He told me that he loves me more than God and Jesus, even though I told him that God comes first,.........before anything or anyone else. He said that he can't help it. I reiterate the "God thing," but I do think it's cute. The teachers in his Sunday School Class say that they think he would "make an excellent priest." Uh, no!!! I don't think so. I want grandbabies one day. But Quinton has plans of his own. He wants to go into the military. ....the navy or the marines, he says. He wants to be a fighter. He said that he just wants to fight in one war. I want him to fight in zero wars. He says that he has to "keep the United States of America safe." I just want him to be safe. But Quinton marches to the beat of his own little drum............and, I love him for it. He is so different than me. I am so outgoing and "out there" and he is so........not. He is shy, and would rather crawl under a rock at the expense of someone else's feelings than to perform and entertain. I am the entertainer. We are both Scorpios, but we must be born of different moons 'cuz we are two individuals........... but we are definitely a pair.