I feel a breeze

So, it's me. Your friend of dramatic stories and embarrasing moments, and I've got a new one for ya. Here goes.
So, I have this new puppy, Harlo. He loves him some me............so much, that he chews up everything that smells like me. And what does he like the most? My panties. he often enjoys an afternoon snack which entails $20/pair "crotch of panties a la Roxanne." He has good tast, pun intended. It has become very frustrating. So frustrating that I had to buy more panties............which he chewed, as well. Most of the panties end up looking like a mini-skirt. He doesn't just chew the panties and leave a hole. He EATS the panties............like, material is injested and can often be seen when it comes out the other end.
So this morning I got up, took a shower, ironed my nice, black, pen-striped pants, got dressed, and went to work. Everything went smoothly, so I was early to work. (I don't have to get there until 8am, and I arrived at 7:56..........early. :)) So I decided to use my 4 minutes to sit on the couch in my classroom, relax, and get ready for the day after a late night out. As I sat there, on my big, comfy, blue sofa, I felt a breeze. Not the kind of breeze that blows through your hair on a nice, Spring afternoon, but the kind you do not want to feel before a classroom full of teenagers pours into your classroom. It was between my legs. So I looked down, and all I saw were my hot pink panties. No. They didn't have a hole in them........it was in the black pen-striped pants that were crotchless. There was a hole the size of a cantaloupe in the crotch of my $75 pair of pants......and I was at work in them. Why didn't I notice this morning when I ironed? Not sure. I'm guessing that the 10 beverages from last night had a lot to do with it. So now, I am walking around like a geisha......baby steps.......so the hole can't be seen. I might start a fire from squeezing my legs together so tightly when I walk.......and if you touch me, you might get shocked from the friction of scooting around my classroom. None-the-less, I got a sub, and will be leaving the school in 15 minutes.........and that dog is in big trouble...... Moral of the story.....I'm not sure there is one...........maybe it is to check your crotch before you leave home. Who knows how many people checked mine out this morning before I realized what was going on.